The Psychology of the Unworn Wardrobe

Four reasons we don't wear the clothes we own.

It is 7 am and you're getting ready for work. You got your first coffee in, your skincare is on, the bag ready for the day. Now, it is time to get dressed. You open your wardrobe, and you realise there is absolutely nothing in it that you want to wear, although it is brimming with clothes. So, you put on a version of an outfit that you wore yesterday. There is nothing wrong with it, but you don't feel quite right.

This scenario might be a different one. Maybe you're getting ready to get coffee with a friend; a meeting at your child's school; a dinner; a Sunday walk in the park; an exhibition in the local gallery; you name it - the list goes on and on, but all of the wardrobes in each scene say the same story: I am full but I am useless.

This dilemma can happen to anyone, at any time, a fashion professional included.

Why is it then, that our wardrobes are full but empty at the same time?

The question worth answering is not "what is wrong with me" but more "what is really going on here?"

1. The fantasy self

We shop for a person we aspire to be - a fantasy self, if you will. By that I don't mean shopping for red-carpet gowns while dreaming of a Hollywood career. I mean buying outfits for the person you want to be instead of the person you are.

A weekend artist, although your style is quite minimal. A tailored suit to boost confidence for the one meeting you might have one day, while you mostly work from home. Going-out dresses when you have a newborn at home and a night out isn't happening any time soon. You get the gist.

Buying for a fantasy self is a way of rehearsing the life we want without having to live it yet. The purchase is the commitment; wearing the clothes would be the follow-through.

Most of us make the purchase - and skip the follow-through.

Your wardrobe ends up full of amazing clothes that you might most certainly wear, but you don't reach for any of them daily.

2. The grief of the past self

Whether you want it or not, your body and aesthetic are going to change throughout your life. It can consist of small or huge shifts, but nevertheless, the clothes you wore ten years ago might not serve you anymore.

We tend to be very nostalgic, if not protective, when it comes to our style. Some people get stuck in a dressing era that represents the moment they "peaked." Some clothes just make us feel safe in them. Maybe letting go of them would mean admitting something has ended.

So they keep hanging in our wardrobes - for comfort, for nostalgia, for the promise of a better tomorrow (I will fit in those trousers again). They anchor us to who we were, and to who we once promised ourselves we'd be again.

3. Keeping clothes for best

This is something I used to do a lot, and I think I have got better at.

We save our most treasured pieces for a special occasion. They get worn once or twice, and their sparkle remains dimmed for most of their lives. Clothes are not for museums. On top of that, we get very precious about costly items. We spent a lot of money on them, so we stare at them instead of wearing them - for fear of damage, or worse, the waste of money it would represent.

In protecting our best clothes from use, we quietly protect them from purpose. The dress we were saving outlives the occasion we were saving it for.

4. Decision fatigue in the morning

This one is a big one. Most wardrobes I have seen are incredible. There is nothing missing in them; the items work well together; the number of outfits that could be pulled from them runs into the hundreds. So why do my clients still struggle to get dressed?

A few reasons, and they stack on top of each other.

The cognitive load. Choosing an outfit is a series of small decisions - top, bottom, outerwear, shoes, accessories, weather, context, mood. By 7:30 am we've already been asked to make ten of them, and the easiest answer is to reach for what we wore yesterday. It's not that the wardrobe is lacking. It's that choosing is tiring.

Time. Even if the decision-making came easily, most mornings don't allow for it. There isn't a spare fifteen minutes to stand in front of the wardrobe and experiment. We reach for what's quickest, not what's best.

Memory. And then there are the clothes we've simply forgotten we own. Pushed to the back, folded under something else, last worn two seasons ago. If you can't see it, you can't wear it.

Coming up with outfit ideas doesn't come naturally to everyone. But it can be tackled, and sometimes this is the main reason your wardrobe feels empty. It has not yet been given a voice to speak.

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If any of the above sounded uncomfortably familiar, you are not alone - and none of it means anything is wrong with you or your wardrobe. Sometimes we just need another pair of eyes.

If you'd like to talk through what's going on with yours, I offer a complimentary 30-minute Discovery Call, or The Style Hour - a focused one-hour video session for your most pressing style questions. Either is a good place to start.